This is a long post....but I want to write it down to share with Josiah's kids one day.
I love my children. Really, I do. But there are days when I wonder if I will have to put them on the front yard with a for sale sign....
Sunday night I came home after church with the boys. Joel had a deacon's meeting, so I put the boys to bed and climbed on the couch with a book. Josiah had quite a bit of trouble staying in his bed, and I was ready to climb the walls in irritation. Then he came to the living room and told me his blanket was wet....
J: Mommy, my Tigger's wet.
M: Why, Josiah?
J: 'Ecause
M: Because why?
J: 'Ecause of the water
At this point I went to check his bed. Sure enough, it looked like a bucket of water had been dumped on his bed! Josiah had taken a cup with a silly straw to bed with him (without me knowing) and it had leaked all over his blanket and sheets.....soaking it all! So I changed his pajamas and sheets, threw his blanket in the dryer and put him back to bed.
Sunday proved to be just the beginning. On Monday, Josiah thought it would be helpful to clean the bathroom floor. So, he poured water on it so that he could dry it. When I took the towel away from him, he wadded up toilet paper and wet it in the sink and used it to wash the walls. By the way, if toilet paper dries on little fingers, it's like paper mache'.....
By lunchtime, I thought for sure Josiah was exhausted. I certainly was! So everyone, including Mommy, laid down for a nap. BIG MISTAKE!!!! Josiah waited for me to fall asleep and then got up. When I woke up, I thought he'd just been playing nicely. I was wrong.
I woke Camden up, and when he sat up in his bed I noticed his lips were bright blue. I asked him what he'd been into and he insisted that he hadn't been into anything. So I asked Josiah if he knew why Camden's lips were blue....
M: Josiah, do you know why Camden's lips are blue?
J: Yes.
M: Why?
J: 'Ecause
M: Because why, Josiah?
J: I put the stamp on him.
You see, the boys received some self-inking stamps on Saturday at a birthday party. I had put the stamps out of reach (I thought) so that the boys could use them with supervision on a cold or rainy day. Apparently Josiah found a way to get to them because not only did he stamp Camden's lips blue, but he stamped Trevor's face and hands RED!! His poor brothers had no idea....they were asleep when he stamped them! When I tried to wash it off I found out that the stamps were made with permanent ink. Nice.
At this point, I walked into the kitchen and found the peanut butter. Josiah had been eating it with his hands and had "written" on the chair and the floor in peanut butter. Exasperated, I sent him to sit on his bed and wait for daddy.
So he did....and he giggled...and giggled....as if he was reliving the whole escapade in his mind. By the time Joel got home, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Then I heard the shriek...
Camden comes out of their room holding his ear. Josiah had taken a key (an old key ring that they use as a toy, but it has a real key on it) and put it in Camden's ear and turned it! It scratched Camden's ear and made it bleed a little. Yikes!
After dinner, Josiah was washing the walls with toilet paper again....in his underwear. He had taken off his clothes (who knows why??) and I found him in the hallway, just washing away!
For what it's worth, he's really cute. He feeds himself, is potty trained and sleeps well at night. Bids for this adorable three-year-old cutie are currently being accepted. A birth certificate and wardrobe will be provided, along with a silly-straw cup and self-inking stamp set.
